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By: Cristen Conger. The pickup artist PUA lives to "sarge. But in the realm of pickup artistry, making small talk with an attractive gal is far more complicated than merely saying "hello.

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And what constitutes a successful sarge? That depends on the PUA's intentions, but generally, it involves a mobile sex date elko minnesotaa kiss or a one-night stand. If the sexual target -- aka the woman -- is "lucky," the suave guy just might contact her again. Due to the heteronormative male-chasing-female dynamic inherent in pickup artistry, women can't flip the script and start sarging into conversations with meneither.

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Instead, women are often characterized as the manchester new hampshire nude women free sex prey, gussied up and hoping to be hunted pick by a handsome hunk. Informer celebrity interviewer and biographer Neil Strauss unveiled the PUA and his sexually strategic lifestyle to the public in his best-selling book, "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

Best places to meet someone his pre-PUA existence, Strauss described himself as physically undesirable to women and socially awkward to boot [source: Strauss ]. Then, like a fervent disciple, he embedded with PUAs for two years initially as a magazine asment, following in their acronym-spouting, pseudonym-bestowing footsteps.

Under the guidance of dedicated PUAs around the world and continual practice hitting on women and building up his self-esteem in the process, Strauss transformed into a bona fide lothario, allegedly wooing dozens of women with his stealthy seduction maneuvers [source: Strauss ].

Since publication of "The Game," the seduction communityas PUAs are collectively referred to, has attracted massive dating, as well as skepticism. Yet what many people don't realize is that these guys have been trading tips well before Strauss stumbled into the ranks.

The Canadian sexy housewives seeking nsa saguenay quebec artist served as Strauss' primary guru, introducing him to the aforementioned seduction community. As Mystery's personal mythology goes, he spent seven years honing his flirting skills, slowly figuring out what worked and what didn't, whittling it online to a semi-science and book called the Mystery Method [source: Belknap ]. Due to his wanting sex quorndon role in "The Game," along with a two-season PUA reality show on VH1, Mystery is one of pop culture's most famous members of the seduction community.

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But he wasn't the first man to make a name for himself by teaching men how to talk to women. Former comedy writer Ross Jeffries is considered the godfather of the modern-day seduction community. Jeffries' "How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed" centers on a concept called Speed Seductiona type of verbal hypnotism that supposedly amplifies a man's attractiveness. Teaching techniques, such as mirroring a woman's breathing patterns, deepening the voice and employing a host of sample pickup lines, Jeffries essentially encourages men to exert confidence and keep on trucking if a woman rejects an offer.

For the first time, men who had been reading and practicing pickup strategies could finally hop on Internet forums and message boards men meet learn from each other and share tips.

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Better yetan online cloak free dating software open source anonymity whereby men select screen names -- Mystery, Style, Juggler and so forth -- freed PUAs-in-training to share their fearshits and misses regarding flirting with women. By the early s, when Neil Strauss' editor caught wind of the phenomenon, the seduction community had spawned multiple blogs, Web sites and self-published e-books [source: Clift ]. Offline, some groups of PUAs organized into local "lairs" or hangouts where they could talk "targets" and "field reports" in-person and chart out their next pickup ventures.

Because when you're a PUA, practice makes perfect -- in theory. Moreover, most PUA strategies are framed in evolutionary theory to serve as supporting evidence for why women inherently shouldn't be able to resist a PUA's advances [source: George ]. In a nutshell, the common PUA line of thought is that women seek out strong-willed, domineering mates who can protect them and their offspring, just like our primitive ancestors did [source: Clift ].

Due to the heavy reproductive investment women might make if a one-night stand in pregnancy, some women rio rancho girls looking for sex resist PUAs' sexual advances. That's why these men must be so skillful at demonstrating masculine worth. Of course, PUAs' slick -- and not-so-slick -- stratagems don't always stick.

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For that reason, "The Game" also teaches men how to handle rejection, which is arguably as meet persian ladies as finessing their way into a woman's bedroom. How PUAs perceive a woman's refusal to accept their advances also strikes at the heart of why "The Game" is often characterized as misogynistic and unhealthy.

For instance, he recommends the following titles:. PUAs aren't innate "ladies men," endowed with the physical attractiveness and panache that draws heterosexual women like moths to a burning hot ember. Yet with that displeasure also comes a type of aggression toward women who are perceived as the sexual gatekeepers.

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And when they inevitably lose the battle along the way, PUAs are trained to become desensitized to rejection by transposing the unattractiveness onto the woman. Suddenly, a lovely target idly perched on a barstool becomes a "sleazoid slut" [source: Jeffries ]. Or, in the case of the Mystery Method, women are often characterized as nonhuman creatures, such as catsthat can be trained and manipulated casual hookups flagstaff Markovik ].

Not only does that create protective psychological distancing, but also fosters the notion that women are entirely disposable since they merely represent individual parts to a homogenous mass. At the extreme end of this misogynistic spectrum lies the Gunwitch methodwhich Strauss describes in "The Game.

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In JanuaryGunwitch was also arrested for allegedly shooting a woman in the face [source: Stewart ]. Characters like Gunwitch and the PUA premise of "negging," or insulting, a woman in an attempt to sexually entice her have understandably attracted controversy to the seduction community.

Neil Strauss in particular has adult seeking sex cambria PUA training, claiming that its pop culture portrayal has emphasized the misogyny and ignored the "inner game" or self-esteem buildings that it accomplishes.

Becoming a master PUA relies on a man accepting and appreciating himself as a person -- woman seeking casual sex crystal beach than being a self-loathing AFC [source: Thorn ].

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Strauss has even described "The Game" as a socially acceptable form of male self-help since it revolves around sexual pursuit and hyper-masculinity [source: Thorn ]. Lesser-known forms of pickup artistry, such as the Authentic Man approach, also direct more focus on building rapport with other men and understanding how to socialize with women, rather than needing to seduce them [source: Decker ]. At the end of the day, considering the profits Strauss, Mystery and other PUA gurus have enjoyed, one also has to wonder whether "The Game" is a -driven dating tool or a money-making device. After all, these men aren't preaching the gospel of "The Game" adult wants nsa tylertown mississippi free.

One commandment of the Mystery Method is to avoid cases of "oneitis," online chat free with girls getting hung up on one romantic interest, at all costs. Here's Mystery's rigorous formula for dodging "oneitis" [source: Clift ]:.

He's spoken at Yale, Harvard, the University of Chicago looking for ladies to love elsewhere about how Asian-American men can attract beautiful women -- particularly white women [source: O'Connor ]. Beyond motivational speaking appearances, Asian Playboy also organizes seduction "boot camps" for men, delivering the nuts and bolts of pickup artistry in a weekend, in contrast to Neil Strauss' two-year PUA pilgrimage for retro dating Game.

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Tran isn't the only self-proclaimed ladies' man cashing in on his skills. Master PUAs often host workshops and boot camps, in addition to motivational speaking at conferences and events; some also serve as private dating coaches. Certainly, the heart of the seduction community remains in online forums and members-only sites, but a cottage industry has also real sex dating tunbridge wells for men who desire real-world, hands-on training in pickup artistry.

For all of the time and money that some men invest into becoming a genuine PUA, is it worth it? Anecdotally, all the related handbooks, message boards and adult want casual sex hi waimanalo 96795 s maintain that, yes, the system works. They started out as the average frustrated chump AFC and, like Strauss and Mystery, evolved into more confident, domineering Casanovas.

Although no lady seeking nsa fort apache artists can verify purported success rates, a recent academic survey indicates that some women are attracted to the PUAs' typically sexism-fueled pursuit. The communications researchers from the University of Kansas found that women who demonstrated sexist attitudes toward other women were more receptive to PUA-style aggressive pursuit [source: ScienceDaily ]. Pop culture has also ladies want casual sex cuddy PUAs a negative reputation.

Reality datings and other publicity have emphasized the quirkier aspects of the seduction community -- loud wardrobes, nicknames and PUA lingo -- as well as its latent misogyny. Opining about PUAs in the Washington Post inEzra Klein also observed that online dating may have rendered pickup artistry obsolete [source: Klein ]. Who needs to study up on how to walk up to women at a club when you can message one online?

At the same time, Klein might not have realized that plenty of PUA message boards are buzzing with how to "sarge" in cyberspace. After all, the object of "The Game" is to never come down with a case of "oneitis"; the only way for Sisyphean PUAs to win is to pick on playing. How Pickup Artists Work. Neil Strauss, "The Game" author and pickup artist master, relaxes in his gold cowboy boots. Pickup Artist Slang Terms to Know. AFC: average frustrated chump. Where every aspiring PUA begins.

IOI: indicator online interest.

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A subtle of interest a woman might direct toward a PUA, such as leaning in while talking to him. HB: hot babe. Close: How an interaction with a "target" ends. close, for instance, means phone s were exchanged before parting ways. Field report: PUAs love to gossip about themselves. After they go out, they may field report their successes or fails on PUA message boards. Game: All female interactions are framed as "games. The PUA spots a "set," or group of women to approach. According to Mystery's "group theory," free phone chat lines in melbourne australia women are always out with company, not alone.

He approaches the set within three seconds the "three-second rule" to evoke spontaneity and self-confidence. Next, he delivers an opening line, such as "Oh my God, listen to you guys, this is just dating culture in uk watching 'The View,'" or "I've only got a minute, so I've got to tell you about Mystery recommends including a false time constraint in the opener to stoke a woman's anxiety that her potential suitor might leave.

After ignoring the romantic target by talking to her friends, the PUA tosses out a "neg," or a critical remark her way to give the appearance of being disinterested. Date night in phoenix az like, "Your hair is beautiful.

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Is it fake? Once the target assumes the PUA isn't into her, she'll naturally want to gain his physical affection. At that point, the PUA can use magic tricks, mind reading, word games or other such "chick crack" to provoke her sexual interest further.